I was molested, physically abused, emotionally abused as a child by my biological father. My mother fled and we were on the run for 2 years as she was struggling to divorce him. He insisted on visitation rights and we only found out later that she could have refused because there was no court order.
He would leave me alone locked up in flat. And used to beat me with a sambok. He always told me I did not have the right to exist and was worthless. He tried to drown me when I was 3 and held me hostage at gunpoint when I was 5, He threatened to kill me if I talked. I had just enough courage to tell my mom. As the court case progressed I was subjected to psychologists, social workers and gynecologists which is traumatic for a child. He never went to jail as I was too young to testify.
Throughout my life I have seen multiple psychiatrists and psychologists who diagnosed me with anything as long as they got paid. After having no childhood due the trauma, it got harder as I became an adult having to deal with depression, anxiety daily after various suicide attempts the first being at age 8.
In 2013 I had my daughter although the doctors are still trying to figure out how I became pregnant as I suffer from PCOS. She keeps me living but it is hard being a single mother. I still suffer from depression, anxiety attacks and flashbacks. I finally had a nervous breakdown in February of this year and was referred by my doctor to the ER, after blood tests and seeing the psychologist I was admitted to VISTA where I was finally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as well as with mixed anxiety depressive disorder. I can now finally work towards having a better future as I can treat my mental illness. I only have a basic hospital plan so it only covered my stay at VISTA. There is a good change that I will be readmitted as I do not have the money for my medication or to go see my doctors as an outpatient.
Because of my admittance to VISTA I am having trouble at my job. My salary barely covers the necessities. My mother supports me emotionally, but she is a victim of rape and years of physical and emotional abuse by her mother as well as my biologically father. She is also a cancer survivor. My step-dad tries to help financially but has recently been told he won’t get paid for 3 months due to financial problems at work and that he might possibly be retrenched. I now sit with hospital bills that I cannot pay as I have to pay for necessities to live and school fees.
All I ask is to have enough to cover my doctors and hospital bills and to continue receiving treatment so that I can be a better daughter. and a better mother. My family is all I have and now everything is falling apart after I finally received the right help and still have a long journey a head.
Thank you for your generosity and support.